Serial dating is the act of jumping from one relationship to another quickly, without a clear dating goal. Serial dating is not the same as multiple dating. Multiple dating is dating more than one person simultaneously.
People who serial date are mostly those who have gone through painful break-ups. I am yet to meet a serial dater who does not have a bad and painful heartbreak history. Most of us have gone through this period. You guys know that phase, the one that is commonly known as the ‘whore phase.’ Some of you are in that phase as we speak.
One thing you need to know about serial daters is that they rarely cheat. There may be a relationship overlap, but cheating is not something they do. They subscribe to the notion that “The best way to get over a person is to get under another person.” And their favorite song is “Love them all,” by K.Mitchell, especially because of the line, “I need another one to get over the other one.”
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As a reformed serial dater, I have prepared a list of the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of serial dating. I hope it will help you decide for yourself if this is the way you want to live your life.
1. No emotional pain
Do you remember the first time you had your heart broken? Let me tell you, the end of a relationship you had high hopes in is one of the most painful emotional pain you will ever go through. You would never wish it on your worst enemy, nor would you want to experience it ever again.
When you serial date, you are less likely to suffer heartbreak. When a relationship end, yes, you will be disappointed but not broken. And that is not a bad thing.
I strongly believe serial dating is a defense mechanism to protect yourself from hurt. Many serial daters are not even aware that they are doing it as long as their hearts are not hurting.
2. It is fun
Looking back to the times I thought I had the most fun in my life was during my serial dating phase. I went on so many dates to different places with different people, and each time, I had a different experience. Sometimes they were good, other times they were bad experiences. Like this one time, I went on a date with a self-proclaimed rapper. I asked him to drop some lines, you know, to have a taste of his music, and he did it. It was terrible, but it was funny.
1. You lose your identity
The day I decided to quit serial dating, I looked at my recent dating decisions, and I could not recognize who I had become. I was a different person every time I dated a new person. I felt my thoughts were everywhere, and I had wasted too much time.
2. You Forget Your Type
Do you know how we all have a type when it comes to dating? Well, you do not have a type in your serial dating phase. You can get anyone and anything as long as there is slight interest. Today I look at the people I dated before and they have nothing in common. Also, I look at some of them, and I am convinced that we had no business being together.
3. You Lose Your Standards
Do you have relationship standards? I mean the things a person must have before you date him or her. Well, in serial dating, sometimes you go with the flow without communicating your standards whatsoever. Having no standards is a major turn off by the way. It would be best if you were not a push around.
4. You Do Not Study A Person Well Enough
Serial daters are not necessarily flirts. They do not make the first move. However, they waste no time giving a person a chance. Just because someone hit on you does not mean they are the right one for you. Study the person first to see if you are a good match, then make a decision. Probably the reason why your relationship doesn’t last long. You date a person you don’t know that well, a few days later, you break up, citing Irreconcilable differences.
5. You Do Not GiveA Relationship A Chance
Serial daters are fast, you mess up once, and you are shown the door. You are not given a chance to explain or even to work through the issue. While I do not advocate staying in a toxic relationship in the name of giving someone a chance. I think it is important to talk through some issues before calling it quits. Sometimes it is a case of misunderstanding, and you do not know how many chances that partner has given you without breaking up with you.
Today, I Look back, and I know one or two people I should have given a chance. I made a mistake letting them go too soon, and yes, I regret that.
6. You never settle
Every time you get into a relationship as a serial dater, you kind of start thinking of your next partner. What a bad way to live? Always on the move, always searching, and having serious trust issues. Again, I do not advocate for settling for something you feel is not for you. But how about taking some time to yourself and figure out the qualities in a person that would make you want to settle?
1. It Damages Your Reputation
The way I live my life is not only to create a good reputation for myself. I would rather work on my character. You know, even lies can make up someone’s reputation. You guys know companies or even individuals who have lost everything due to bad reputation from lies. However, a good reputation is good to have. Do not intentionally create a bad reputation for yourself because whether you like it or not, Your reputation dictates how people will treat you.
Serial dating can give you several bad reputations which will follow you for the rest of your life. For example, People may call you a whore. You may be known as a person who lacks standards, and worse still, and you may be known as the person who never settles.
2. You End Up Breaking Many Hearts
Serial daters are the ones who end a relationship in most cases. And, they do it in the most brutal way that is ghosting. It is not okay, guys; you cannot go breaking people’s hearts like glasses. People out here are emotionally damaged because you led them on. You failed to tell them that you were having fun while they were in it for the real deal at the beginning of the relationship.
Do not play with people’s emotions because karma will locate you sooner than later.
3. Serial Dating Wastes A Lot Of Time And Money
While it is fun, I think the time and energy, and money you put into many relationships could be more helpful if it is put into personal development projects.
4. It Gets Boring
I think boredom was one of the contributors to my wake-up call to stop serial dating. I mean, the process of meeting a new person every month and starting the process of getting to know and trust each other is repetitive, boring, and emotionally draining. Of course, you will not feel this in your first years of serial dating, but trust me, the boredom will surely come.
I do not want to be the one to dictate how to carry out your relationship; if serial dating works for you, go for it. However, I think it is a waste of time, unfair, and quite frankly, Unnecessary. Understand that heartbreaks are part of life, and there are healthier ways to get over them than dating everyone in your village.
It is better to have one or two relationships than to have a million of them to your name. Quality over quantity, Baby!