You’re on a first date with a guy and the night is coming to an end. Now should you kiss him on the first date?
It’s not uncommon for first dates to go badly. You become the most uncomfortable, sweaty, and self-conscious version of yourself. You’re desperately trying to come across as both “interesting” and “authentic” while making awkward small chat and timing yourself in the toilet. It’s all too simple to start freaking out over nerves.
But, oh dear, what if everything goes according to plan? You could be wondering as you rush to clean your teeth before the date night ends: Should you kiss him on the first date? Should you wait for later dates? What does a kiss on the first date mean?
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Read on for some advice on trusting your instincts when it comes to first-date kissing and what might be best for you.
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Should you kiss him on the first date?
What does a first-date kiss mean?
You may be thinking numerous things when a guy chooses to kiss you on a first date. Is he only being polite? Was he dreaming of you all night?
And, as you probably know, a kiss can mean many things. There’s no way to know for sure without asking him. However, asking a guy why he chose to kiss you on the first date is probably not the best idea if you want him to invite you out again.
One thing is certain: kissing on the first date does not always imply a willingness to go any farther. Here we’ll go look into the reasons why you should and (should not) go for a kiss on your very first date.
Why should you kiss him on the first date?
1. You want to see if there is chemistry
A first kiss is a favorably ornamental activity in and of itself, according to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D., on Psychology Today. It may help you clarify your aims and ideals if, as the author suggests, kissing is part of adolescent self-definition.
Consider this if you’re still undecided: Kissing on the first date can actually help you figure out if you and your date have chemistry. While you may have clicked and have a strong connection, kissing on a first date allows you to evaluate if you have romantic as opposed to platonic potential.
If the kiss goes as well as the date, it’s a good sign that your personalities are compatible. If the kiss goes badly, take it as a sign that you may not have matching sexual styles. This could become a bigger problem later.
2. You want to enjoy the moment
Another reason people want to kiss on a first date is because kissing is, let’s be honest, enjoyable. Sealing the evening with a great French kiss might be a way to add an exclamation point to the fantastic time you had with each other after an exciting, engaging, and exhilarating first date. Also, in certain situations, kissing on a first date can make you both eager to see and kiss each other again later.
3. You’re already friends and want to level up
Kissing can be a means to affirm that you’re moving out of the friend zone that you were in and going to the next level. A kiss on your first date can make a big difference when you already know the guy and communicate well. You’ve both enjoyed one another as friends, why not go for a kiss when you’re out on a date?
According to Sheril Kirshenbaum, author of The Science of Kissing, the more excitement you have leading up to a kiss, the higher your dopamine levels will be. If you’re both having a good time, don’t get caught up in what you believe you should or shouldn’t be doing. There’s a chance that he likes you, so should you kiss him on the first date? Just trust your gut!
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When is it better to wait for a later date?
There’s nothing absolutely right or wrong. It all depends on you, basically. So should you kiss on your first date in some situations as below?
1. You don’t feel like it
Don’t force yourself to kiss a man when you’re not up to it. You shouldn’t do it for the sake of it either. Dating is about fun. If you don’t feel that way at all, it’s better not to send him a mixed message like a kiss on the lips. You can go for a half-measure and kiss your date on the cheek. This is a kind gesture that isn’t as intrusive. If you’re not sure what to do, kiss him on the cheek and observe how he reacts. Otherwise, you could always finish things with a hug.
2. You want to leave him wanting more
Those who dislike kissing on a first date frequently adhere to the “less is more” philosophy. While you obviously had a good time with this person, there’s something to be said for leaving him wanting more.
Should you kiss him on the first date? Your date may be more motivated and likely to take you out on a second date if you withhold a kiss on a first date. That might make him curious and wait to see what it’s like to kiss you. Playing hard to get can begin as early as the first date, when you decide to save your kisses for a later date.
3. You expect a kiss will lead to a second date
If you’re thinking whether kissing on the first date is a good idea or not, the sad reality is that it doesn’t guarantee you’ll go on another date with this guy. Many women kiss at the end of a terrific first date, but never see or hear from their dates again.
Kissing on a first date can sometimes mean kissing this woman goodbye for good. In fact, a lot of serial daters or people who are only keen on hooking up will go in for the kiss now and then ghost you later.
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Now, don’t let it show that you’re too desperate for him. Should you kiss him on the first date? It’s better to play a little hard to get, and let him show his protective impulses towards you, an attractive woman. If he acts as a gentleman, it’s possibly because he likes you, which means you’ve activated his hero instinct in its early phases.
The hero instinct is a relatively new notion in relationship psychology that is now garnering a lot of discussion.
You see, men have an innate desire to protect the women they desire. They want to make a difference for her and be recognized for their efforts. As a matter of fact, men love the feeling of being a hero. Because it’s in their genes to want to be in a relationship with a lady who makes them feel like they’re superheroes.
If you like this man, it’s a good idea to discover how to activate his hero instinct in a simple way.
This wonderful free video is the best place to start.
The video demonstrates how to stimulate this extremely natural male inclination by sending texts, saying phrases, and doing basic things.
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In the end, should you kiss him on the first date? It’s a completely personal decision.
If you can’t wait to kiss this person and they appear to share your sentiments, go ahead and do it! However, just because a first date ends without a kiss doesn’t indicate there won’t be further dates — or perhaps a potential relationship — in the future with this man.
While kissing on the first date might be normal for many people, the timing of your first kiss is entirely up to you and your date. You don’t have to keep track of how many dates you have; just do it when you feel the time is right!
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Over half of people living in the United States have the opinion that it is appropriate to kiss on a first date. An additional 33 percent of people believe that the first kiss should be saved until after two or three dates have been completed. On the first date, males were significantly more likely than women to say that it is appropriate to kiss.
The greatest technique to ensure a next date does not depend on whether you kiss the guy or not; rather, it depends on whether you express your enjoyment and ask for a second date. However, if you’re unsure whether to kiss someone at the end of a date, just simply ask, “May I kiss you? ”
If it seems as though he’s just returned from a run, then your kiss pushes his body into overdrive and makes it feel like he did. You will very certainly also observe that he is flushing or that he is breathing a little more rapidly. An intense makeout session causes him to release adrenaline, which not only speeds up his heart rate but also gives him more strength and stamina.
Ease back out of the kiss, keeping yourself close to your partner’s face. After the kiss, pull your head back slowly to give each of you some space. If you wrap your hand around each other, you can lightly ease off, or hold each other close for a more intimate moment. Look your partner in the eyes and smile.