In a world where many people have their entire lives on social media, choosing to be mysterious is fresh air. As we mature and age, we will appreciate the power of being mysterious. Not everyone deserves to know every tiny little bit of your life. That is how we invite disrespect. Reserved people are intimidating and command respect by showing up.
What does being mysterious mean? Being mysterious is when you are not easy to read, even to people who think they know you. You have this element of surprise, where people expect to be a certain way, but you show up completely differently. Do not confuse mysterious for fakeness. While fake people show you one thing and act the other way, mysterious people haven’t shown any specific they work. What they bring to the table is what you get. Here are ways you can be mystifying.
Table of Contents
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1. Be Clear With Your Boundaries.
Having boundaries is a great way to be mysterious. Do not give anyone and everyone accesses to you. Having boundaries is one thing, and communicating those boundaries is another. One of the most uncomfortable things you will ever have to do is to express your limits. Especially to people who are used to you in a certain way. You will be forced to have those difficult conversations and let people know they no longer have access to that part of your life. You can also communicate your boundaries through your actions. You are allowed to cut people out if they keep crossing your boundaries.
2. Be Less Confrontational
Not every situation requires a reaction. While letting people get away with walking all over you is not recommended, confronting everyone every time takes away the mysteriousness from you. Only confront when you have something you are fighting for, and even then, try to be modest. You do not have to shout or be dramatic to convey your point. Being aggressive gives people clues on how and where to attack you.
3. Limit What You Share on Social media
With the rise of social media, people are becoming less and less mysterious. Not sharing everything about you on the internet is an excellent way of being mysterious. You can share whatever parts of your life you are comfortable with sharing. It is a free world. You, however, must consider the consequences of what you put out there. Also, note that social media is addictive, and we may be tempted to share more than we would if we were not deprived of dopamine. There is much joy and freedom in knowing you have something about you that no one else knows. That is how bosses move, keeping things to themselves and announcing them when they are finished products. Do not be an open book.
4. Don’t be too available.
Have you met people who are at every social gathering? You are at every wedding, every class reunion, and every club. What are you getting all the time? What are your priorities in life?
Not availing yourself of everything is a great way to be mystified. Sometimes, let them miss you. Learn to turn down some invites and occasionally send a representative. Being too available invites lots of disrespect and takes away the element of mystique.
5. Talk needs to listen more.
Mysterious people are good listeners, and good listeners are not the best talkers. When you listen more than you talk, you avoid paying more than you should. People who talk too much reveal so much information about themselves that it makes them less mysterious.
6. Do not vent too much.
Being vulnerable is a superpower if you know how and with whom to be vulnerable. To be mysterious, avoid venting to everyone. Have specific people you can be vulnerable with. It can be your therapist or your spouse. Venting too much gives predators what to attack. When you are comfortable, you can share your vulnerable self with everyone through a book, a video, or a publication. Other people can use it as their guideline for overcoming life challenges. But before you share with everyone, be in the right state of mind, be wary of the consequences, and yes, you might be bullied.
7. Always be in control of your emotions.
We cannot always be in control of our emotions. Even the most disciplined of us have a breaking point. One day, we will snap and let the emotions take the lead. But, if you are in the habit of putting your feelings in check, there are lows you will never get to with your emotions. When we have our emotions in check, we are less reactive, able to communicate effectively with others, and know who and when to vent to. This is mysterious.
8. Be Confident
Confidence is the ultimate quality of a mysterious person. Confidence shows that you are comfortable with the person you have become. Confidence here is not only a feeling but also actions. Be confident in how you walk, maintain eye contact, and always maintain a confident posture. This will intimidate people who want to approach you with small talk. Being confident attracts equally sure people in your circle.