There might be a time in a relationship when you realize you’re a needy girlfriend. Now that’s something you should look into and find a way to deal with it.
You’re probably reading this post because there’s a concern that you’re a needy girlfriend. So, here’s my confession: I used to be a clingy girlfriend, too.
I’m not proud of it at all, but I was incredibly needy and clingy when it came to my partner. However, thankfully, I was able to see the signs of becoming a clingy girlfriend so as to alter my behavior to save the relationship.
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That’s why today I’ll go through the primary eleven indicators of a clingy girlfriend that you should be aware of. Not only that, I’ll go over some actions I did to get rid of my clinginess.
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What It Means When You’re A Needy Girlfriend
A needy girlfriend is a desperate woman who accepts and exhibits actions that a secure and confident woman would never tolerate. She subconsciously feels insecure in her relationships and craves constant attention and validation to offset the loss of love she’s receiving. That’s why a clingy girlfriend will turn to others to meet her emotional demands rather than being in charge of her own feelings and moods.
A history of rejection, hurt, and disapproval usually leads to an anxious attachment style that conflicts with positive thoughts and actions, ruining love relationships. In the pursuit of affection, attention, and approval, a clingy person begins to cling to the connection too tightly, drowning the other person.
What’s more problematic is that this woman often doesn’t know she’s desperate. So, if you’re a needy girlfriend, it’s very important to notice the signs.
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Signs You’re A Needy Girlfriend
1. You Bombard Him With Calls And Texts
It’s a natural desire to text or call your sweetheart daily. However, if you call him numerous times a day or become enraged when he doesn’t answer to your texts while he’s at work, that’s a warning sign that you’re a needy girlfriend.
A clingy girlfriend will make excessive phone and text calls to her partner. When you know your lover is occupied with something, limit the number of phone calls and texts you send.
2. You’ll Follow Him Everywhere
Whatever you were doing before you met him is no longer relevant. You can’t tolerate being alone or away from him, even just for a day, because not having him by your side makes you anxious.
So, even on a weekday, he might see you show up at his workplace to have lunch with him. When he says he’ll go play disc golf with his buddies on the weekend, you’re ready to support him. Wherever he is, you’ll be there.
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3. You’re Too Suspicious And Jealous
It’s normal to wonder if he’s the right one, and acceptable to be worried about your partner cheating on you or leaving you for another female. However, if these worries keep you awake at night without any indication that he’s cheating or leaving you, you have a major issue.
A little suspicion and jealousy mean you care about your boyfriend. But this isn’t happening in your relationship, and your jealousy isn’t cute if it’s affecting your romance. You don’t want any woman near your partner. If you keep bothering him about his relationships with other women and frightening him with consequences, he’ll think you’re insane and flee.
4. He Needs To Ask For Some Privacy
You’re clingy if he has to request space or time alone. Some guys are more direct than others and will tell you that they want to be left alone. Others won’t, but they’ll resent you for not backing down. That’s why it’s best to spot clinginess early on.
So the next time your boyfriend is apparently working or focusing on a hobby, let him be. Sitting next to him and watching him constantly is not appealing, and he will instantly begin seeking ways to avoid you.
5. You Want To Control Him
You become dominating in a relationship if you’re a needy girlfriend. When you’re with your boyfriend, you want to manage and organize his life. You need to know his whereabouts, activities, and social media posts at all times.
To feel safe, you push him to introduce you to his family and friends. You want to ‘fix’ his shortcomings by interfering with his appearance, hobbies, and interests. Rather than accepting him as he is, you strive to mold him into your ideal mate.
One problem with this ‘gesture’ is that you’re taking away his “power” to make him feel like a man. You see, men are natural problem solvers. When a man likes you, he’ll want to feel useful and needed, like a protector, a provider -a hero in your eyes, not a child. So what you need is to activate his hero instinct, but what is it?
The hero instinct is a novel concept concerning three fundamental drivers all men have, deeply established in their DNA, coined by relationship specialist James Bauer. However, very few women know this fact.
Once activated, these drivers transform men into self-made heroes. When they find someone who knows how to set this off, they will feel better, love harder, and commit more. You might be asking why “the hero instinct”. Is it really necessary for men to imagine themselves as superheroes to love a woman? Certainly not. Put Marvel out of your mind.
The truth is that you won’t have to pay anything. You can reach into a part of him that no woman has ever tapped into with just a few tiny changes in how you approach him.
With this James Bauer’s amazing free video, you will find the answer. He offers some simple start-up advice, such as sending him a 12-word text that will immediately activate his hero instinct. Because that is the hero instinct’s beauty.
It’s only a matter of knowing what to say to persuade him that you’re worth committing to. This video contains all of this and more, so watch it if you want to keep your man.
6. You Always Seek Confirmation
It’s not enough that your partner enjoys your company and wish to be with you. You need his reassurance of you. You’ll want to know whether he likes your dress or if he loved the meal you prepared. You’ll ask whether your hair looks nice or whether you should return a purse you recently purchased.
You want his comments on everything, so the list goes on and on. You’ll ask him again even if he’s previously said something pleasant because you need good comments. That’s another sign that you’re a needy girlfriend.
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7. Your Relationship Determines Your Self-worth
You need a man to confirm your self-worth, which is the most typical cause for feeling clingy in a relationship. Your self-esteem, happiness, and whole sense of self worth all rise when you’re in a relationship. You feel unworthy if you are being single.
You attach to your lover because you don’t feel beautiful and good about yourself as long as you have his interest and attention. This indication of neediness is frequently seen in extremely attractive women whose self-esteem is based on male adulation.
8. You Change Your Plans Just To Be With Him
We’ve all met someone who prioritizes her partner over her pals. You know you’re not going to see her as often once she starts a new relationship. This girl is probably in need. Stop while you’re ahead, if this is you!
Maintaining a healthy balance between your friends and your relationship is essential. It’s critical to maintain tight ties; after all, your friends will be there for the rest of your life. And, while you hope your spouse will be a lifelong commitment as well, you will need the support of your friends and family if things don’t work out, so don’t desert them.
9. You’re Always Pushing The Boundaries Of Your Relationships
Are you the one that makes sure your relationship reaches all of its goals? Did you speak the key three words, “I love you,” in a hurry? Have you persuaded him to accompany you on your vacation so that you can share those glistening holiday photos on social media to prove what a great relationship you are?
If that’s the case, you’re a needy girlfriend, who’s interfering with the relationship’s natural progression. And all of this will cause your boyfriend to distance himself from you, because you’re stealing from him the opportunity to lead.
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10. You Get Annoyed And Upset When He Has Plans Without You
You love being with your boyfriend so much that you think you should do everything together. So when you know he’s going out for some beer with his friends tonight without you, you may become offended, especially if you have no plans. You’ll want to hear why you can’t come and probably make him feel guilty about it.
Don’t let this take away your charm and his urge to pursue you. Making him the focus of your existence gives him the sense that you need him and don’t have a life of your own. As a result, that indicates you’ll be overbearing in the future.
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11. You Frequently Question His Love
It’s a sign of insecurity to question his affection. It’s natural to have concerns from time to time, especially when your relationship is a little rough. However, if he repeatedly expresses his love and how he’s committed to you, but you continue to doubt it, then it means you’re a needy girlfriend.
Place yourself in his position: What if you offered someone everything of your love and it was never enough? This can become discouraging and off-putting to your spouse over time.
What To Do If You’re A Needy Girlfriend
By this point, you’ve probably had the answer of whether or not you’re a needy girlfriend. Being a clingy partner isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just means there’re some issues you need to work on now. One of them may be your insecurities, your lack of self-confidence. Here are a few suggestions to help you have a better understand of yourself and strenghthen your relationship.
1. Have Your Personal Life
Remember the time when you were just you and had a life of your own? Hang out with your friends, put your heart and soul into your work, and chase your dreams. If you want to go hiking or start a Zumba class, just do it without expecting him to join you.
Make plans if you wish to. If he’s a caring and respectful spouse, he’ll be glad you have your own life and aren’t completely reliant on him. You really need to learn how to love yourself first before waiting for him to love and cherish you back.
2. Be Mysterious (Don’t Tell Him Everything)
Don’t let him be in every part of your life. He doesn’t want to know what you and your friend talked about last night. In fact, leave some areas of your life a mystery for him to discover.
Don’t give too much information away too quickly. Men adore ladies that exude a sense of mystery. Make him want to find out more about you.
3. Give Him Space (Make Him Miss You)
So, instead of trying to be present with him all the time, let him have time for his work, friends or hobbies. Don’t get irritated and take it personally if you see he’s busier than usual. Maybe he has a lot on his plate and it has nothing to do with you. He’ll probably rush over to see you once he’s done with that.
Learning to reaffirm yourself is an important aspect of conquering insecurities. Instead of jumping to conclusions when you feel that you aren’t getting enough attention, reassure yourself that he still loves you, even if he is overworked.
If you’re a needy girlfriend here, take some time to think about your life, study up on the subjects you’re having trouble with, and devise coping techniques to make your life simpler.
Of course, overcoming clinginess isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible if you put your mind to it. You’ll begin to notice how much your relationship benefits once you put these tips into practice. Your boyfriend will be happier, and you will be living your life for yourself – without looking for confirmation, approval, or attention from a guy (or anyone else).
Further reading: How a fear of commitment can impact your relationship